New season dawns and few surprises
The Age
Thursday March 24, 2011
AH, FOOTY, it‚„s great to have you back. Last season was such a foregone conclusion ‚€ť all the experts had given the cup to the Pies by Christmas, there wasn‚„t much surprise with the umps giving Judd his third Brownlow either. What do you mean it‚„s still 2011? It‚„s round one? Collingwood hasn‚„t won it again? I can‚„t believe it! Fev, rule changes and the St Kilda scandals have scrambled my space-time continuum ‚€ť this pre-season seemed to go for at least two years.CARLTON v RichmondIt doesn‚„t matter what year it is with this opening game, it‚„s always the same. A big crowd turns up, the Tigers are not good enough and 10 minutes into the second term fans turn their attention to the second game of the season. Richmond is improving ‚€ť maybe it will take until the 20-minute mark this year.Geelong v ST KILDAAre you sure it‚„s only been six months since the last AFL game? The Cats seem to have aged a decade in that time. Scribes have them arthritic, hard of hearing and struggling with their parallel parking. Didn‚„t they play out a classic, last-kick final with the Saints just a few games ago?COLLINGWOOD v Port AdelaideThe Pies might not be past the post for the flag ‚€ť look at where they stood this time last year to see how much can change in six months of footy ‚€ť but if the roof is closed and the lights are on at Etihad, Collingwood will still think it is the pre-season, and do enough to win.Adelaide v HAWTHORNMany clubs are currently trumpeting their intention to win ‚ś‚śtwo flags in five years‚„‚„, but the Hawks were first with the big statements, years ago. If their list plays as well as it looks on paper, they can indeed snatch two titles within the appointed time-frame.Brisbane Lions v FREMANTLEMichael Voss has confidence in his abilities to build a time machine that can take him back to late 2009, and deliver a youth policy instead of the top-up senior recruiting fiasco that has set his club back several years. In the meantime, he will have to be an exceedingly good coach to deliver respectability for the Lions.Essendon v WESTERN BULLDOGSEverything changed at Essendon in the off-season, and nothing. All the coaches are shiny and new and top shelf. The playing list, however, is largely unchanged ‚€ť the coaches are better players a few years into retirement than much of the squad that underperformed so drastically in 2010.Melbourne v SYDNEYIt seems punters can remember last year‚„s round 17, when Melbourne pumped Sydney at the MCG by 73 points, but not September that year, when the gallant Swannies won a final and all but knocked out the top-four Doggies. This selective amnesia also neglects the departure of experienced Dee ball-winners James McDonald and Cameron Bruce, the absence of injured gun midfielder Tom Scully, Melbourne‚„s indifferent pre-season form, and the encouraging development of several Swans kids. Odds? Demons ($1.60) Swans ($2.20).WEST COAST v North MelbourneI‚„m just going to check online if I can find the result of this match, just in case it really is 2012. That beats trying to predict this one, with the lowly Eagles at full-strength and at home, and the more talented Northerners on the road and missing key personnel.Can you guess the secret meaning behind the Village Idiot‚„s eight margins this week? Drop us a line at sport@theage.com.au
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